When I say the Denise the Menace phase, I’m not saying my kid is a menace. Not at all. He is sweet, and loving and busy and curious and loves to explore and sees everything as a challenge. What I’m saying is that he hardly ever sits still and that in every adventure he sets out to do something will probably go wrong leaving a wake of destruction. So all moms with kids nearing the toddler stage, come closer, listen carefully, take some notes, for here is my little nugget of truth on how to survive the toddler age. Always prepare for the most unimageneble situation you can think of. If your husband says “what if he does (fill in action)” you never ever answer “Oh no he is too young to figure that out” Toddlers find a way. Nothing is ever impossible for a toddler.
In the last 2 weeks Ben has tried to flush a golf ball down the toilet, spilled bubble bath on the carpet, got stuck in the burglar bars of the living room window and locked himself inside our bedroom. Now before I get stuck into the kid locked in bedroom story can I just say: Have you ever tried to clean bubble bath from a carpet before? The more you scrub and clean the more foam it makes. Our living room was transformed into a 90’s foam party. Except I remember foam parties being a lot more fun.
So getting back to the locked door. Last week Wednesday we had an especially hectic morning. Getting you and toddler ready for the day when on a tight schedule is just total madness. Husband starts work at 7am so he leaves early. I was running through the house like a mad women when I suddenly smelled the distinct smell of a teething poo diaper. I felt a little teary because the last thing I had time for was a crazy diaper especially with Ben who refuse to lie still for a diaper change. It takes an immence amount of patience. I had none. So we struggled through diaper change, I left him in his nappy in our bedroom while I went to fetch him clothes. When I got back to our room the door was locked. LOCKED!!!! So there I am on the one side and my toddler on the other. Now I am not a sane level headed person when in a tricky situation. I panic immediately. But I knew I had to stay calm because if Ben hears the panic in my voice he will panic too. So I very calmly told him to turn the key to the other side. Over and over and over till I realised it was not going to happen. So second instinct was to phone the husband, he always knows what to do. That’s when I realised my phone was locked in there with him. I am now in a state of full blown panic and very close to crying. I suddenly remember our neighbour should still be home as he leaves for work around the same time as me. He is also super handy. “One of those guys guys. The kind you send into the woods with a pocket knife and a toothpick and he builds you a shopping mall”. For a second I stood there thinking what I should do about the PJ’s no bra situation I found myself in but time was not on my side so I decided that this would be the morning my sweet neighbour meets the real make up less, bra less me in all my horrid freshed faced glory. Next challenge was finding my house keys that was suddenly not in any of he usual key spots. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!!! I finally find the key and yell “Mommy will be right back” to Ben as I head out the door.
Thank goodness my neighbour was still home. He figured out that Ben didn’t fully twist the key all the way so it was possible to open the door by dismantling the door handle on our side and then jiggling the lock with a screwdriver. We opened the door and there stood by sweet little boy in just a nappy with the biggest smile on his face. It was all just a massive joke and adventure to him. I on the other hand aged about a 100 years. All keys are now firmly out of toddler reach.