First of all lets get one thing straight. Unless you thrive in highly tense, volatile situations rather leave the shopping for when your husband is home to watch the kids. OR even better, take him with. Let him experience the utter terror of shopping with a toddler first hand and then next time he asks you why you are exhausted after grocery shopping (men have real short memories) you get to punch him in the face.
When shopping with a toddler ALWAYS pick the store you know best. You should be able to name the number of the aisle of every single item on your list before you even leave the house.
Entertainment is key. Pack the tablet, the mini DVD player, books, anything else that might keep them busy for more than 15 minutes.
Unless you have R5 with you AVOID the entrance with the car or plane ride. Actually even if you have R5 on you AVOID AVOID AVOID. Because one ride is never enough. Once you’ve popped you cant stop.
Blind fold, distract whatever you need to do to get pass the toy aisle.
Keep them snacking. Even if that means breaking the sugar before lunch rule. And don’t worry about the sugar high, if you are quick about shopping the sugar will probably only kick in once your home and there’s no one to eye role at your screaming kid.
Make high speed car chase noises as you take a corner of an aisles at a 100km/ph. Even better if you make crashing or exploding noises as you pass other trolleys.
Pick the shortest line at the till, hastily throw the items in the direction of the check out lady, wipe the sweat from your upper lip while drummer your fingers on the counter.
Unpack your trolley, stuff your Flings faced toddler in the car and high five yourself on being a super mom.
Get home and realise that while you checked your shopping list your toddler loaded about half the shops Oreo stock into your trolley.
Explore your online shopping options.